


Scottish Temptation Island

by ancientcitylullaby



Category: 11th Century CE RPF, Macbeth - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Bastardizing Shakespeare, Crack, Day At The Beach, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Modern Era, Parody, Romance, Vacation, but somehow everyone still has their medieval titles, cause I don't care, none of this is serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 04:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancientcitylullaby/pseuds/ancientcitylullaby
Summary: Three couples and seven single people, all who happen to be from 11th century Scotland/England and the like, are thrown onto a island together. Will they cheat, or stay faithful? Did I mention this group is full of repressed homosexuals?Macbeth has a thing for Banquo but he's not man enough to say it. Malcolm has been drooling over Macduff ever since they first met, even though Macduff got absolutely plastered 15 minutes into the flight to their destination. Lady Macbeth and Lady Macduff are both sick of their husbands. Macbeth's cousin, Thorfinn, has taken it upon himself to flirt with absolutely everyone except the man who actually has a crush on him; Siward. Get ready lads cause it's about to get... bad.Disclaimer: I have never seen Temptation Island I just thought the premise was hilarious and super fic-worthy.
Relationships: Banquo (Macbeth)/Macbeth, Lady Macbeth/Lady Macduff, Lennox/Donalbain, Macduff/Malcolm, Menteith/Caithness, Ross/Angus, Thorfinn Sigurdsson/Siward
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Scottish Temptation Island

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jens_Holland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jens_Holland/gifts), [Thamys020](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thamys020/gifts).

BEFORE WE BEGIN: Here’s a character lineup since I use Lady Macbeth’s real name in this, and some unnamed Thanes as well as Lady Macduff have been given names by the lovely Macbeth fandom :,)

Macbeth  
Gruoch (Lady Macbeth)  
Banquo  
Macduff  
Favianna (Lady Macduff)  
Ailith (Caithness)  
Flora (Menteith)  
Donalbain  
Malcolm  
Thorfinn (Macbeth’s cousin)  
Kieran (Lennox)  
Siward  
Aaron (Ross)  
Leslie (Angus)

Now, let’s begin!

\-----------------

A T.V. blazing with bright neon colors flashed in the front of the expensive private jet, jolting Macbeth from his sleep. “What the hell?” He cried, but Gruoch clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Welcome to another season of Scottish Temptation Island! I’m your host, Edward the Confessor!” said the man onscreen, enthusiastically.

“You didn’t tell me he ran this thing!!!” Beth exclaimed. “I hate that guy!”

Gruoch shrugged. “They needed a new host.” 

“He’s not even Scottish!!”

On screen, Edward continued. Macbeth slid down in his seat.  
“The rules are simple. We’re throwing you on an island with 13 other attractive young people! Some in relationships, some single. You’ll probably cheat, get cheated on, cry, kill someone, or find true love! Good luck!” 

The screen went black. Macbeth wondered why he agreed to this in the first place. Still, he stared longingly at Banquo from across the aisle of the plane. Maybe this would be his chance to escape his wife.

Behind them, Macduff was already drunk on airplane cocktails and shoveling peanuts into his face. Malcolm watched him with adoration, while Donalbain turned up the volume on his noise-cancelling headphones. He was watching Lord of the Rings. 

“Ainsley, don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink…” Lady Macduff, otherwise known as Favianna, said. “It’s only been fifteen minutes since we took off.”

Macduff looked back at her. “I need this,” he said, cracking open his fifth bag of peanuts.

“I love a man who knows what he wants.” Malcolm sighed dreamily. Favianna gave him a dirty look. Or she would have, but he was like, a Prince and all, so she just mentally gave him the finger.

“I wonder if anyone on this plane is gay.” Kieran of Lennox said, glancing over at Donalbain. 

Ailith of Caithness laughed nervously. “Why, are you gay or something?” She asked. 

“No, of course not, ahaha…” Kieran said, looking away.

“R-right, me neither,” Ailith said. It was funny because they were both extremely gay. Ailith tried not to look over at Flora of Menteith.

Thorfinn, Macbeth’s weirdass Viking cousin had insisted on coming, and Donalbain thought he was cool because he looked like he was from The Hobbit, with his longass braided black hair and his obvious homosexuality. Not that he was Donalbain’s type; Donalbain had a thing for Kieran, but Kieran probably didn’t like him back. Kieran probably wasn’t even gay.

Thorfinn sat next to Banquo, uncomfortably close. “Hey, wanna hook up?” He asked, chewing on a huge drumstick that nobody knew how he managed to bring onto the plane. 

Banquo however, was staring over at Macbeth, who was bickering with his wife over whether they left the stove on. 

Thorfinn noticed Banquo staring. “Forget my cousin, Banquo, you need a real man.” Thorfinn said.

“Who says Beth isn’t a real man?” Banquo asked, not taking his eyes off of Macbeth.

“Trust me.” Thorfinn said.

Beth looked over at Banquo and his cousin, and Banquo waved at him. Beth waved back, and Gruoch smacked him.

“See? no man.” Thorfinn said. 

Leslie of Angus, Aaron of Ross, and Flora of Menteith were binge watching The Office while Leslie and Aaron were also secretly giving Flora tips on how to get with Ailith, whom she had a massive crush on. Macduff had now gotten up to pee 6 times. It was terrible because he had the window seat. Favianna kept offering to switch seats with him, but he kept saying “No, no, it’s fine, I think I’m good now.” Y’know, like a liar.

Siward, Earl of Northumbria, had unhappily taken the seat behind Thorfinn, as Thorfinn had sat himself down next to Banquo to purposely avoid Siward. It seemed like Banquo had been hoping Macbeth would sit next to him, but no such luck. Thorfinn was not allowing himself to be stuck next to Siward for a 6 hour plane ride. Thorfinn may have been a massive slut, and flirted with everyone that drew breath, but the fact that Siward actually liked him back was… terrifying. So he avoided Siward art all costs.

Macbeth looked over at Flora, Aaron and Leslie, sharing headphones and having a great time. He wished he was sharing headphones with Banquo and watching something fun. Sharing headphones was usually a good sign. Gruoch never shared her headphones with him.

Basically, all was (not quite) right with the world.

\---------

Finally, the plane landed. It was the middle of the night, and everyone was anxious to get to their rooms. Since this was a dating game show, they all had separate rooms, in the hopes that something would happen y’know, and Macbeth was secretly grateful to get away from his wife. He hoped his room would be close to Banquo’s.

Macduff was nearly blackout drunk and Favianna had to drag him to his room. He flopped forward onto the bed and she left, too tired to deal with this. A few minutes later, Malcolm creaked open the door to Duff’s room, to see the muscular man passed out, half in bed and half out of bed. He had one sock on.

“Macduff?” Asked Malcolm, poking the unconscious man. 

“Favi, is that you?” Macduff asked. 

“Um, no, its Malcolm, are you okay?”

“I’mm fine baby…” Duff muttered, sliding further off the bed.

“Come on, you have to get in bed, are you okay?” Malcolm was a bit worried now.

“Sfff--nno…issokay…” Duff insisted. Despite this, Malcolm tried his best to hoist Duff back into the bed. Once the much larger man was in the bed again, Malcolm awkwardly turned to go.

“What, you’re going to leave?” Duff asked, his words still slurred.

“What do you want me to do… Malcolm started to ask, Macduff motioned him closer.

“Come to bed, iss late..” He said. 

“Duff, it’s me, Malcolm.” Malcolm said, wondering if Duff had mistaken him for Favianna. 

“Yr cute… wanna cuddle?” Duff said.

“I mean… yes…”

“Then cmere”

Malcolm tentatively crawled into the bed, where Duff wrapped his arms around him.

He stunk of booze. But Malcolm was losing his damn mind.

\---------

Meanwhile, Leslie and Aaron were playing late night ping pong, because they were crackheads. That’s not so bad, except instead of ping pong balls, they were using raw eggs. Banquo had gotten up to get a drink of water when he was hit directly in the face with a ping pong ball, and by that, I mean an egg.

“Oh shit, sorry Banquo, you okay?” Aaron asked, handing Banquo a towel. 

“I’m fine, just couldn’t sleep.” Banquo said, trying to wipe egg out of his eyes. 

“You couldn’t sleep?” Leslie and Aaron looked at eachother. Could this be a case of the homoerotic pining? It’s more likely than you think.

“What’s on your mind?” Leslie asked. “Tell me about your feelings.” 

“It’s Macbeth, isn’t it.” Aaron said.  
Leslie hushed him. “Let the man speak, Aaron!” he said.

“Yes, it’s Macbeth,” Banquo admitted. “Is that bad? He’s a married man, why’d it have to be him?”

“The heart wants what it wants.” Aaron said, dreamily. 

“Plus, he wouldn’t be on this retreat if his marriage were stable.” Leslie added.

“I suppose you’re right.” Banquo said, thoughtfully. “So what should I do?” He asked.

“Just tell him how you feel.” Aaron said. Leslie nodded.

“Hmmm. Thanks guys, I’ll try that.” Banquo said. He wandered off again, and Leslie and Aaron continued their ping pong game.

“Actually, I’m tired of ping pong.” Said Leslie,

“Wanna bang?” Aaron asked him.

“Of course.” Leslie replied, and the two of them headed off to one of the bedrooms.

Meanwhile, Gruoch was sitting out by the ocean, in the darkness, like the absolute goth she was. Favianna saw her and was intrigued, and followed her down to the shore. 

“Who’s there?” Gruoch shouted, turning around, but relaxed when she was it was Favi. “Oh, it’s you, good thing too, I was about to go sicko mode.” And Gruoch revealed an intimidating looking dagger that was concealed somewhere on her person. 

Yikes. Favi was smitten. 

“That’s a nice knife.” she said, moving to sit next to Gruoch on the shore. 

“Isn’t it? My father gave it to me, before he was brutally murdered.” Gruoch said.  
Favi stared in horror. “I’m so sorry…” She began. Gruoch shrugged. “It’s okay, I take out my frustration by breaking things. Like Macbeth’s spirit.” She laughed a little, then took a swig from a flask. “Want some?” She asked Favianna. 

“Sure, why not, with the day I’ve had with Macduff…” Favi trailed off, remembering how shitfaced her husband had gotten. 

“You must not be too fond of him.” Gruoch said.

“What clued you in?” Favi asked.

Gruoch shrugged. “Maybe the fact that you’re on a game show that’s sole purpose is to see if you’ll cheat. Just a thought.”

Favi sighed. “It’s just… the passion between me and Duff is gone. I don’t see him the way I used to, and he’s still a good friend, but…”

Gruoch stared off into the ocean, thoughtfully. She then turned to Favianna. “Favianna, have you ever considered being with women?” 

Favianna looked back at her, her face turning red. “What? I…”

“Playing for the other team?” Gruoch continued.

“What team?”

“Jesus Christ do I have to spell it out for you?… Favi are you gay?”

“I wasn’t until you pulled out that knife...” Favi muttered.

Favi might’ve had a thing for women who could kill her. I mean, who doesn’t.

Gruoch didn’t let her finish, leaning in and kissing her. Favianna didn’t pull away, spilling the flask out on the sand. 

“Holy shit…” was all Favianna could say. Her face was bright red, but nobody could see because it was so dark.

“Wanna go back to my room?” Gruoch asked. 

“Hell fucking yes.” Favianna said.

———-

Thorfinn was sleeping comfortably, taking over the entire bed like the alpha male he was. But suddenly, he felt another form in bed with him. He opened his eyes. 

“Hi Finny.” Said Siward. Thorfinn screamed.

“GET OUT OF MY BED!” He shouted, pushing Siward off the bed. Siward let out a cry as he hit the floor with a thud.

“Ow!” He cried. “Finny…” 

Thorfinn looked down to see if the little gremlin of an Earl was okay. Siward peeked his head up--in reality he was only faking being hurt--and kissed Thorfinn on the nose. 

“Fuck you!” Thorfinn shouted. “Get out of my room!” 

Siward ran away laughing.

\-------------

The next morning Favianna and Gruoch were noticeably absent from breakfast. Aaron and Leslie high fived. “I knew those two would hook up.” Leslie said. “Flora owes us five bucks.”

Macbeth was relieved his wife was nowhere to be found, because he could talk to Banquo uninterrupted now. “So hey, Banquo,” he said, wandering to a seat beside him. “How was your night?”

“Uneventful. Yours?” Banquo asked. 

“Same here.” Macbeth said. Part of him wanted to say “I could give you an eventful night,” but he didn’t. He slammed his face into his eggs out of frustration. Somehow, Aaron and Leslie had not destroyed all of the eggs in the house, but the game room had a funny smell to it that day.

“Beth, are you okay?” Banquo asked. 

Beth slid out of his chair. “Never better…” he muttered from the floor.

Banquo lifted him up and dragged him outside for some fresh air. 

Ailith realized too late that she was pouring milk onto the table while she was staring at Flora. Something about that woman begrudgingly handing over 5 dollars to Aaron and Leslie was so… alluring. Lennox stared at her, and pointed out what she was doing.

“Oh, shit.” Ailith said. 

Donalbain was dead asleep because he had marathoned all of the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit in one day. He awoke at noon to find Thorfinn standing over him. “Oh my god it’s Thorin Oakenshield” he exclaimed, “I thought you were dead!” Thorfinn just stared at him. “I’m not dead, I’m just drop dead gorgeous.” Thorfinn said, a little confused since he only knew about the Hobbit from gifs on Tumblr.

“Wait,” Donalbain soon came to his senses. “You’re not Oakenshield, you’re just Macbeth’s creepy cousin.” He said.

“Damnit.” Thorfinn said. He walked out of Donalbain’s room.

“What were you even doing in my room?” Donalbain shouted after him. 

“I thought it was my room!” Thorfinn shouted back. 

“If it was your room why would I be sleeping in it?” Donalbain retorted. 

“That’s what I was about to ask you!” Thorfinn exclaimed. He then left the room, running straight into Banquo, who spilled a glass of water all over himself. 

“Hey hot stuff, how’s it goin?” Thorfinn asked, winking at Banquo. Banquo rolled his eyes. 

“The offer still stands!” Thorfinn called after him. Banquo had been returning from getting a glass of water for Macbeth, who looked like he was in shock. “Beth, are you alright?” Banquo asked, giving him the half-glass of water that still remained. Beth suddenly snapped out of his trance. 

“I could show you an eventful night, baby!” He suddenly said, popping finger guns at Banquo. Then he realized what he had done, and chugged the entire glass of water. “Oh, fuck, this isn’t even booze. I have to live with my decisions now.”

Banquo smiled. “You’re weird. But cute.” he said. Macbeth’s jaw dropped. Did Banquo just call him…

Banquo took a deep breath. “Macbeth, for a long time I’ve been wanting to tell you that I…”

Suddenly the air was thick with shouting. “SNAKE IN THE POOL, SNAKE IN THE POOL!” Kieran had crawled on top of Ailith’s head, who was pointing a water gun at the ‘snake.’ Gruoch’s angry voice rang out, shouting, “THAT’S A STICK YOU MORONS!”

Macbeth was about to scream. 

“You were saying, Beth?” Banquo asked. Beth just started crying.

\-----------------

Meanwhile, Macduff awoke with a raging hangover. It took him a few minutes to realize it was Malcolm in bed next to him. 

“What the fuck…? How drunk was I?” He exclaimed. Did we…”

“No! No of course not…” Malcolm said, quickly.

“Would you like to?” Macduff asked. Malcolm went beet red. 

“Um, yes?”

“Cool, wake me in 3 days.” Duff said, and then he fell back asleep. Malcolm had to admit he was frustrated by that. But he decided to stay a while. The bed was nice and warm.

Macduff awoke a few hours later, still with a headache, but seemingly sober. “Malcolm?? I cheated this quickly? I guess I really was repressed, huh.” He said. 

“What?? No, um, we didn’t actually…” Malcolm began.

“Oh, we didn’t? Well that’s okay, Malcolm! Consent is key! It’s fine if you don’t want to take it to the next level yet!”

Malcolm smacked himself in the forehead, as Duff rose to get out of bed.

\---------

Ailith sat down next to Flora, having gotten out of the pool after the ‘snake’ incident. “Wanna make a bet?” She asked. 

Flora’s eyes lit up. “Of course.” She said.

“I bet you ten bucks Kieran and Donalbain will hook up.” Ailith said. “They’re totally into each other.”

Flora glanced over at them. Donalbain was sitting as far from Kieran as possible. 

“Donalbain will never have the balls to approach him, and Kieran is oblivious to his own feelings…” She paused. “Deal.” Now I want to make another bet.”

“What’s that?” Ailith asked. 

“I bet you that you’re gay.” Flora said. Ailith was sweating. 

“And what’s your wager?”

“A kiss.” Flora said, and then kissed Ailith on the cheek. 

“Shit. I’m gay.” Ailith said, and she kissed Flora right back, on the lips this time.

“GAYY!” Kieran cried from across the pool, and was dunked underwater by Leslie. 

\----------

Thorfinn had gotten out of the pool and was getting into the shower. Yeah. He showered. Surprised? Apparently Vikings were surprisingly hygienic. Did you ever see Macbeth take a bloody shower? No. But he does though. Because he’s not a slob.  
Anyway, he was just getting in the shower, when he heard a voice cry, “Finny!” with excitement. He screamed, and whacked his head on the shower nozzle. He let out a stream of curses that you can only spell using runes or some shit. Siward, who had been hiding behind the shower curtain, looked horrified. “Oh, sorry, I was about to take a shower but I didn’t realize you were here too, are you okay?” 

“You damn near fractured my skull you little bastard! What the fuck!” 

“It’s not my fault you’re tall… hang on, let’s get you some ice…”

Thorfinn, not having much choice, resolved to follow Siward. But first, he wrapped a towel around him, angrily realizing that he had been completely naked.

Fortunately this house had a locker room near the pool, that had first aid supplies, including a small freezer in which Siward found an ice pack. He gave it to Thorfinn, who pressed it to his head.

“Motherfucker…” Thorfinn said, before cursing some more in Norse. He sat down on one of the benches in the locker room.

“There there, it’s okay.” Siward said, sitting beside him and putting his arm around Thorfinn. Normally Thorfinn would have shoved him, but God damnit his head hurt. Fucking Siward.

“This is your fault.” Thorfinn grumbled. 

“You didn’t shoo me away this time.” Siward beamed. 

“Fuck off.”

\----------

Evening was falling. Everyone had gathered on the beach and were huddled around a firepit. Ailith and Flora were holding hands, Aaron had shoved like 10 marshmallows into his mouth at once while Leslie laughed his ass off. Until he started choking and Leslie had to do the heimlich, while Aaron coughed half-swallowed marshmallows into the fire.

“Nice, Thorfinn said, midway through a story about whatever weird Viking shit he got into.  
“I’d give it a 5 at best. I can fit a lot more than that in my mouth.”  
He looked over at Banquo, and winked. Macbeth glared at his cousin while Banquo laughed. 

Siward was nearly drooling. “O-Oh, maybe you could show me sometime, Finny” he said.

“Don’t call me Finny.”

“But Finny!!”

Gruoch had stuck even more marshmallows onto one stick to show Macbeth how a real man would roast marshmallows. Macbeth watched as his cousin tried to one-up Gruoch in how many marshmallows they could roast at once. He sighed.

It had only been a couple of days on this island, and everyone seemed to have already paired up one way or another, and meanwhile he still couldn’t tell Banquo how he felt. He had tried, but it seemed the entire universe was against him in this. He was now sitting inches away from Banquo, and Gruoch was too interested in Favianna to pay much attention…

“Banquo…” He began again. 

“Yes, Beth?”

Fuck, what was he supposed to say now?

“Um… the sunset is beautiful… tonight.” He said, kicking himself. 

“It sure is,” Banquo said, “It’s awfully romantic, don’t you think?”

“Uh… y-yeah um…”

Banquo was leaning his head on Beth’s shoulder. Macbeth was about to spontaneously combust. Their hands intertwined. 

“Y’know, Beth…” Banquo said softly. 

“Hm?” 

“You’re my best friend.”

“Y-yeah?”

“But I think you’re something more, too.”

“What, like… best friends forever?”

“No you idiot!” 

And then Banquo pulled him into a kiss. Flora, who had at some point wandered down to the ocean with Ailith, shouted, “YES! Kieran owes me ten bucks!”

Macbeth turned around, red in the face. “Flora!!”  
Then he turned back to Banquo.

“I’m sorry I called you an idiot.” Banquo said,

“It’s okay, um… could you do that again?”

“What, call you an idiot?”

“No!!!!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He smirked. And he tugged Macbeth in by his shirt collar, and kissed him again, pulling him down into the sand.

“Get a room you two!” Gruoch shouted, even though Favianna was sitting on her lap, and they were feeding each other marshmallows.

Near the ocean, they all heard Kieran shout “SNAKE!” again, and Flora, Ailith, and Kieran all scattered away from the water.

Back at the firepit, Kieran realized he hadn’t even tried to speak to Donalbain yet. He had been too busy dealing with Aaron and Leslie, and that was basically a full-time job. And also, maybe he was scared.  
Malcolm’s brother was quiet, mysterious, and had beautiful dark eyes. Kieran forgot how to speak around him, which made things difficult. He swallowed hard, and walked over to Donalbain, who looked up from his Instagram feed. 

“Um. Donalbain, hi, would you, with, me… date???”

Donalbain blinked at him. “What?” 

“You have pretty eyes…”

“Thanks, most people think they’re boring compared to my brother’s. In fact, people think most of me is boring compared to Malcolm. And, they’re kinda right.” 

“What? No… that’s not true at all! Donalbain, you’re, you’re amazing--”

Donalbain rolled his eyes. “You’re just saying that.”

“N-no, I mean it, would I have this big of a crush on you if you weren’t? W-wait… shit…”

Donalbain’s eyes burned into Kieran’s flesh. “You have a what?”

“I have……... to go to the bathroom…” Kieran exclaimed, and ran off toward the ocean, diving directly into the water. 

Meanwhile, Macduff and Malcolm had left the group, walking alongside the crashing sea and dimming skyline.

“And that’s how I almost lost my arm.” Duff said. Malcolm listened with awe. 

“That’s so manly.” He said. 

“Heh, you think so?” Duff was most certainly trying to radiate top energy. He did a hair flip, but his hair was too curly and just fell down in his face.  
“Fuck.”

“Duff, can I tell you something?” Malcolm asked, stopping where he was. The waves upon the shore. 

“Yes!! I mean uh… sure..” Duff said, regaining his manly composure. Secretly though he really wanted Malcolm to like him. He was cute as hell. But Duff was painfully stupid and didn’t know the first thing about flirting.

“I kindof… maybe… have a thing for y—“

He was interrupted by a massive something flying out of the water. Malcolm screamed and jumped into Duff’s arms, while Duff screamed too. 

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!” Kieran screamed. Donalbain thinks I’m a loser! Oh, hey, Malcolm, hey Duff.” 

“Do you mind!” Duff shouted. Behind Kieran, Thorfinn emerged from the water. “Hey.” He said.

Kieran screamed again. “How long were you in there?”

“I was hiding from Siward. You?” Thorfinn asked.

“Hiding from Donalbain.” Kieran replied.

“Both of you! Leave!” Duff shouted, Malcolm still clinging to him. 

“What do you say you and me find somewhere a little more private, Kieran?” Thorfinn said, nudging the Thane of Lennox.

“Oh, uh, thanks, but I’m into Donalbain…” Kieran said. 

“He can come too.” 

“GET OUT!” Duff screamed. Thorfinn and Kieran left soon after.

Finally he and Malcolm were alone again.

“Y’know what, I’m… I’m tired, Malcolm, let’s just… go to bed.”

“Wait, Macduff…” Malcolm started to say.

“Yes?”

“I was going to say, um. This.” And he grabbed Duff’s face and kissed him.

“Holy shit Malcolm!” Duff exclaimed, once Malcolm pulled away.

“Sorry! Was that too forward?”

“Hell no…” Duff kissed him again, and swung him into the air. He then carried him triumphantly back to the house.  
Malcolm nearly swooned.

—————-

The next day Aaron was out trying to catch a fish with his bare hands, while Ailith helped. 

Leslie and Flora sat on the beach, watching.

“I got one!” Aaron shouted, before falling face first into the water.

“Sure you do.” Leslie laughed. 

Banquo and Macbeth were laying in the sun, under an umbrella that was, coincidentally, rainbow. Banquo rolled over to kiss Macbeth on the cheek. “Hey there, babe,” He said, smiling.

Across the beach, Thorfinn was cheering. “Get it little cousin!” He shouted. Macbeth pulled his hat over his head.

Later that day, they all headed to the boardwalk. Gruoch was excited to win Favi a ton of prizes. Macbeth was just anxious to lose Thorfinn in the crowd. Thorfinn was getting uncomfortably close to Banquo, who seemed to find him hilarious. Thorfinn was also trying to lose Siward. 

About half an hour in, Leslie and Aaron returned to the group wearing matching shirts they had just bought that said “He’s mine,” and “I’m He’s”. Macbeth gave them an odd look. But hey, it was Leslie and Aaron. What did he expect?

Gruoch had already won several prizes for Favianna, who was triumphantly carrying them in a new bag she bought. They both had bought flower crowns too. Macbeth and Banquo had found themselves in line to get ice cream. 

“Banquo…” Macbeth began. “You’re not into Thorfinn, are you?” He asked. 

“What, no, of course not, I told you, I like you.” Banquo replied.

“Ah, okay.” Macbeth shifted a little. “It’s just, he’s always flirting with you… it makes me uncomfortable...” 

Banquo looked shocked. “What? Why would I ever choose him over you?” He asked, then, realizing Macbeth had less self esteem than a depressed walnut, he hurriedly continued, “you’re perfect, Beth.”

“You think so? But Thorfinn said it himself, I’m not enough of a man…”

“Pfft. You’re every bit as manly as he is. And that’s not the reason I like you.”

“Oh, really? Then why do you like me?” Beth asked.

“Well, it’s because you have such a big, huge, ginormous….”

“BANQUO!!!!”

“---heart!” Banquo finished saying. Some girls behind them were snickering. Given the color of his face at that moment, Macbeth was definitely living up to his nickname, “The Red King.” 

They finally made it up to the front of the line, and after they got their ice cream, Macbeth tried his hardest not to lick the ice cream like a goddamn himbo. At least that’s how Gruoch described his ice cream eating habits. But Gruoch bit her ice cream. To Macbeth, that was horrifying.

Malcolm was the real himbo out here. Speaking of Malcolm, here he was. Flowers braided through his hair, holding hands with Duff as they strolled down the boardwalk. Seemed like he was having a good time. 

\-------

Since everyone had gone their separate ways. Kieran found himself alone with Donalbain. He almost panicked and dove into the ocean again, but he didn’t. Donalbain approached him.

“Kieran.” Said the young prince. 

“Y…yes?” Kieran replied. “I’m sorry about everything I said the other night, it was probably super weird and I don’t know why I said it, also I wasn’t peeing in the ocean I just wanted to get away from you cause I knew I’d made a fool of myself….”

Donalbain just laughed. “It’s fine, Kieran. I actually thought it was cute. Though I’m glad, about the ‘not peeing in the ocean’ bit.” He said. 

“Oh… okay!” Kieran’s poor stupid mind was racing. 

“And Kieran.” Donalbain continued.

“Y-yes?” Kieran’s eyes widened. 

“I kinda like you too.” 

“Oh okay that’s great-- wait WHAT?”

“You heard me, Kieran of Lennox. Will you be my Thane?”

“I’d be cool with just being your boyfriend too, y’know--!” 

“That sounds wonderful.” Donalbain smiled, taking Kieran’s hand. The two ran off to probably make out in some alleyway like the hipsters they were.

\----------------

“Finny pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” Siward begged. “It’s so pretty and it’s scales are so shiny…”

Siward had been pointing at a huge plush dragon that was the top prize at the dart throwing game. No fucking way. He knew Siward was convinced he could fight dragons, and he was not about to enable this man. Plus, he nearly gave him a concussion.

“Please, I’ll do anything… I’ll even… leave you alone for a bit...:”

“Really? You would do that?” Thorfinn looked confused. Didn’t Siward want him around?

“Well… if you really won that dragon for me, it would show that you care about me…” Siward said, tracing circles on the ground with his foot. “Plus, I could pretend it’s you…. My big, strong Finny--”

“Okay Siward, that’s creepy,” Thorfinn said, stopping him. “I’ll do it.”

Siward’s eyes lit up. “Really?! Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I love you Finny! Hey look everyone! My boyfriend’s gonna win me that huge dragon!!”

Everyone standing around the game turned to look at Thorfinn and Siward. 

“No, no, he’s not my boyfriend! This is strictly platonic! And not even that!” Thorfinn protested.

A man in the crowd shook his head. “Internalized homophobia is a terrible thing, my friend. Go win your boyfriend that plushie.”

“No, no, I have ACCEPTED myself as pansexual, but Siward is NOT my boyfriend!” Thorfinn exclaimed. 

“Shhh.. Finny just win the prize.” Siward said, nudging Thorfinn to go up to the booth. Thorfinn stood up with his best alpha male stance.

“I am going to win the dragon.” He said sternly. 

“Okay, geez buddy. You hit all the balloons, you win. Not that it’s gonna happen,” said the man running the game. Thorfinn shot him a look that could melt stone. The guy at the booth looked a little green. Thorfinn paid for the round, and the guy running the booth shoved the box of darts his way, before ducking quickly out of the way, fearing for his life if he didn’t.

Siward thought the way Thorfinn struck fear into the hearts of men was, well, really hot.

Thorfinn threw the first dart. Score. And the second, And the third. And so on, and so on. The guy running the game started looking more and more shocked. Siward felt himself falling more and more in love. Bit by bit, a crowd gathered around them, seeing this man who seemed to have the aim of a god. This was very different from throwing knives or axes, but he still seemed to have a knack for it. 

Every round, the player was given two more darts than there were balloons. So, in theory, you could mess up twice and still hit all the balloons, and still win the prize. Thorfinn hadn’t missed yet, and booth guy was getting angrier and angrier. Nobody was supposed to be this good at his game! As this hulking giant of a man prepared to shoot for one of the last few balloons, booth guy lobbed a random ball straight at Thorfinn. 

“Fuck!” Thorfinn missed his shot. He spun his head around to glare at the booth guy. Booth guy just pointed at one of the random spectators. Thorfinn had another dart in hand, and would’ve lobbed it into booth guy’s eye, if not for Siward. “Finny, the dragon…” He said. 

Despite his alpha male Viking instincts, Thorfinn turned away and readied himself to hit the next target. Two balloons, three darts to go. He could do this. The crowd was dead silent with anticipation. 

Macbeth and Banquo, noticing the huge crowd around the darts game, came over to see what was going on. Macbeth stifled a laugh when he found none other than Thorfinn and Siward. Admittedly, he had been trying to avoid his cousin, but seeing the two of them willingly hanging out together was well, hilarious. 

Back to Thorfinn. He threw the next dart, but booth guy threw another ball in his face. Another miss. Thorfinn was about to disembowel this man. Siward held him back. “Come on Finny, you still have two more darts.” he said, pleading for Thorfinn not to get arrested for murder right before he might have a real chance to shoot his shot, no pun intended. 

Siward, watch him!” Thorfinn ordered. Siward stood between Thorfinn and the booth guy. Thorfinn needed to win this prize even more now; he had a profound need to assert his dominance in every situation, especially over the bastard that ran this game.

One more dart hit the balloon squarely, and it popped with a satisfying bang. 

“God damnit!!” Booth guy shouted. There was now one dart, one balloon. He had to make this shot.  
Booth guy readied another ball. Siward saw, and shouted at him. “Don’t you dare!” He shouted. Booth guy ignored him. 

“Finny, look out!” Siward cried, as the ball came flying toward him. Thorfinn threw the dart.

It left his fingers before the ball smacked him in the head once more. “GOD DAMNIT!!’ Thorfinn screamed, “THAT’S IT, I’LL HAVE YOUR HEAD!” He barreled toward the booth guy, about to use Siward as a blunt force weapon, when Siward shouted for him to look at the booth.

“Finny… the balloon popped…” he said in awe.

Thorfinn looked at the booth, where all the balloons had been burst. He took one look at Siward, and kissed him full on the lips. 

The crowd around them went wild. 

Thorfinn marched over to the horrified booth guy. “I believe you owe me something.” He said, ice in his voice.

“Yeah sure, take it. No hard feelings alright? Heheh…” said booth guy, handing Thorfinn the huge stuffed dragon. Thorfinn then knelt down and handed it to Siward, who after the kiss, had all but melted into a puddle on the ground. 

“Uh… here.” Thorfinn said, suddenly at a loss for words, mostly embarrassed about kissing Siward in front of everyone on the boardwalk. Also mortified that he had just kissed Siward. Even more mortified that he hadn’t hated it. Not at all, in fact.

“Finny…” Siward started to say. He took the dragon, which was even bigger now that he was holding it, and hugged it. Then, throwing his arms around the man who had won it for him, he hugged Thorfinn. Okay, this wasn’t horrible either. 

The crowd began cheering again. Thorfinn wanted to disappear into the sand. He grabbed Siward’s hand and dragged him out of there, Siward waving at all the spectators as he left.

“Oh, hi Macbeth!” Siward shouted. Thorfinn’s heart stopped. His cousin had seen all that??”  
He began walking even faster, and he didn’t stop until they were far, far away.

\----------

Once back on the bus to go back to the house, Thorfinn was begrudgingly letting Siward lean his head on his shoulder, while also holding the giant stuffed dragon. Ailith and Flora were drunk off their asses in the back seat singing some ungodly mashup of “Take Me Home Country Roads” and “Loch Lomond”, that ended up being something about roads taking them home to Scotland or West Virginia and how everyone is high, until shorty got low low low low low….

Aaron and Leslie were passed out, still wearing those awful t-shirts. Everyone was fairly certain they had lost their old shirts. Duff had stolen Donalbain’s noise cancelling headphones to drown out this bullshit, but it was okay because Donalbain was using his earbuds to watch a movie with Kieran. It was probably some nerd shit. Eventually Duff realized that Ailith and Flora’s loud singing was really bothering Malcolm, so he passed the headphones over to him. Duff only listened to shit music, but Malcolm found some of his own favorite playlists on youtube music, and he was happy. Duff soon screamed at Ailith and Flora to quiet down, that it was bothering Malcolm, and soon they started telling dumb jokes among themselves instead. Duff put his arm around Malcolm.

Siward was relieved that Ailith and Flora had shut up, but not minding as much because he had been watching… How to Train Your Dragon...  
… (because of course he was) with Thorfinn. Siward turned to the man sitting beside him.

“You like me.” He teased.

“I tolerate you.” Thorfinn grumbled. 

Banquo heard this, of course. “I tolerate you, Macbeth.” He said sweetly, running his fingers through Beth’s hair. Macbeth almost choked.  
“I tolerate you too, Banquo.” He laughed.

“Shut up you two!” Thorfinn glared at the two Scottish Thanes. Fucking crackheads. All of them. Behind him, Ailith shouted. “You guys are fucking gay!”

Somehow, Gruoch and Favi were sleeping through it all. They even brought sleep masks knowing this would happen. They were probably used to drowning out bullshit, considering they had been married to Macbeth and Macduff, respectively. 

Emphasis on “had been”. They all doubted their marriages would last much longer. It was probably for the best. As Duff had said, they had all been pretty repressed. The only original couple that had stayed together was Leslie and Aaron, and that was probably because no one else could match their specific level of crackhead. So it was a good thing. They were meant to be.

Basically, all was (just about) right with the world.


End file.
